We made a promise, we swore we would always remember. It was a beautiful winter’s night in Goa. Many secrets shared, many promises made; we had quite our share of wine and quiet whispers too. Soft kisses and passionate bites, secret glances and not so shy winking. We had our share of memories. We had our time, we had our glory.
This would be my problem with adoring Bollywood films; the perfect version of love and the happy endings, the crazy dancing under the moonlight… I seem to ache for this in my life. Ever time inching closer only to realize that this is nothing more than a castle in the clouds.
There are times when you miss someone. Not in the sense that you want to them back in your life, but more in the sense that you would want to rewind back to just one perfect moment with them. Maybe a conversation, shared kiss, a date under the bright moon, dancing on a golden beach… So much. Five days. Five days gave me a memory of a lifetime. A memory to cherish, protect, yet sometimes miss.
Time is a very strange concept. It makes you wonder… and when you wonder, memories create, and at times, more often than ever destroy. Memories, sometimes you can miss someone just by a thought; or actually, their one thought. Their one thought that would be just You… Well, Me.
The way he used to care about me, the way he used to talk to me, how he would listen to all my stories, and I would eagerly look at his pictures, send him mine. How we would talk into the night; one night when we both simply couldn’t sleep without the other being on the phone. His gentle snores a melody to my ears. My morning voice a comfort to his day. There was a time when one seemed unable to live without the other.
I wonder, what is it about Bollywood movies that makes you want a perfect ending ? What is about a perfect ending that seems so unreal ? Life as a writer, life as a romantic, life as a dreamer… It all suddenly seems to be nothing more than a curse.
A friend advised me once, when you miss, just write.
And write is what I’ve been doing.
Send Me Away With A Love Song.
He read it again and again. He didn’t even have to look at the piece of paper to recognize the handwriting, the words were enough. He held the paper tightly in his hands, it was almost warm, fit perfectly; just like hers once did. He blinked and looked away.
Traffic and cars sped past him. He had stopped the car on the side of the road after two hours of driving and finally decided to open the package that he had been asked to collect from a friend of hers.
He was breathless.
He knew that he couldn’t open it now, not after reading this note. But he had to. He dreaded it, he knew what came next. She had told him once, a long cold night… through tears streaming down her face, her voice distant over the phone. He tried to distract her, made her promises that somewhere they both knew he wouldn’t intend to keep.
“I’ll come. On Skype, to Pune. To see you. I miss you. I always remember… I will come to Pune.”
He thought about this line of his; his throat clenching, anger rising as he remembered how convincing he had sounded on the phone, surprising even himself.
But something in her voice made him uncomfortable. She slept off soon that night, he stayed on the phone just to make sure; more for himself then her satisfaction.
A few days later, with very little conversation passing between them, and even more promises and tears than before. She called him, her voice sounded different.
He didn’t realize he was holding his breath till she hung up the phone.
I’m leaving this city.
There are too many memories.
It was too perfect, too unreal, us… you… for any of it to be true.
I can’t do this anymore.
I will keep my promise.
I am ending this.
Her words stung him, more sharper than the other. It had been a busy day at work, and quickly, he forgot.
And today, there was this box in his hands.
He knew what message it bode. He knew what he could have avoided happening. He knew he could have saved her. He knew it was all in his one promise.
That one promise that he had been unable to keep.
One promise, that changed more than just his life, hers, and all those who were connected to them.
Her grieving parents who were unaware, her tear-stricken friends who never saw through her smile… He had the answer to it all. And she had now left him, them, with all the answers in that one box.
Send Me Away With A Love Song.
She always had a flair for drama. She loved unrequited love stories, but fairy tales even more.
This, is for our time.
It was her handwriting, it even felt like her.
They say a greater sin than to kill, is to destroy, to destroy another soul.
He closed his eyes.
Put on her favorite song, Ride. And opened the box.
Tears flowed down his cheeks, as she kissed him from somewhere far away.