After much consideration and thought, I’ve come to this one simple yet mildly profound fact: I shouldn’t fall in love.
Albeit, “shouldn’t” sounds extremely harsh and permanent. However, it is needed.
I’m a left over soul. Long from the days of the 17th century, when poets fell in love with their muses, where women wrote long letters to the one whom their hearts yearned.
Love, was not a feeling to hide away or be ashamed of. Yes, being shy was a positively normal scenario, but tell me, have you ever been in love and not blushed? Or not beamed as you watch your effects causing a slight bright rush on your lovers cheeks?
But Love was proclaimed. Love was fought for. Love was defended. Love was declared. And it all happened in the most simplest ways imaginable: and no, this is not another fairytale of mine: Love, was expressed, not calculated or planned or even pondered upon.
Today, love has become the latest tragedy. It has become the most complicated emotion that one should ever find themselves in.
Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Yes, I can’t help but blush when He looks at me with his soulful brown eyes. But questions like: should you text first? Should you appear to be “more” intrigued? Should you even care this much? – I have no answers frankly.
Not every beginning has an end, not every ending is final.
But my mind and heart aren’t wired like this: every beginning is hopeful, every beginning has the capacity to evolve; every beginning is exactly what it is termed, “A Beginning”.
Close friends are tired of giving me endless advice. Family thinks I should read less and focus more. Around me, Love seems to have found a way to work, so why am I allowing myself to be entrapped in this force field?
Who set the rules?
Wait, when did the rules change?
Why does He have to make the first move?
What is a “first move”?
Why does my overt and free use of the word, “Love”, send shivers down people’s spine?
Make people shift uncomfortably?
Make some roll their eyes in despair?
Or stare at me with pity?
If Love wasn’t meant to be so overpowering: we would have no writers, no artists, no emotions, no pain, no lyrics or tunes to give justice to starry skies and cloudy nights.
Love is meant to destroy you- engulf you, ravish you, seduce you, create you- over and over again. Much like an orgasm; you know the end, but you want this rush to last… Slow, slower, but you’re spiralling out of control, you want it now; 99.9% of the time, you and your lover want the same thing, but one of you is too scared of proclamation. But you want the orgasm: Because it sets everything, on fire.
So why should conversations be postponed? Feelings be diluted? Love be suppressed?
I say, there’s no one to blame but ourselves. Unfortunately, not too many people are wearing their heart on their sleeves… It’s glared at today, like the Scarlet A. And sadly, the Scarlet A is burning bright on me.
And therefore, it is with this that I say, I shouldn’t fall in love. Rather, you shouldn’t fall in love with me: Because I will engulf you, like a fiery comet racing towards Earth at an unstoppable pace.
Together, my lover and I, we will create our own Universe.